


(love) piles up in my heart, it's our time

by hyewon



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Fluff, Light Angst, Recreational Drug Use, Slow Burn, is it even angt when it's just jinsoul pining? maybe, nothing major lipsoul ae drinking buddies and there's weed close to the end
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-05-26 08:14:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,132
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14996615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hyewon/pseuds/hyewon
Summary: "Jinsol's mind immediately froze, noticing how beautiful the girl was, even from a distance. Bright and warm dark eyes stared at her, pink lips forming a little ‘o’ shape. Her brunette hair was slightly wavy, and Jinsol had the urge to run her fingers through it to see if it was as soft as it seemed. She immediately knew she wanted to be close with this girl, but in a soft, delicate way. As if the beautiful girl in front of her was a work of art, a masterpiece, but incomplete, and Jinsol was the missing piece. Jinsol never thought of herself as poetic, but this girl's beauty sparked the little creativity Jinsol had and brought it to life. Jinsol wanted to know her, and she wanted the girl to know her in return, tooThen she remembered Jungeun's words.Damn you, Jungeun, you should've told me how pretty she is."listen the summary is shitty but it give it a chance :)





	(love) piles up in my heart, it's our time

**Author's Note:**

> a cutesy jinseul au with a little bit of humor because there's not nearly enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was gonna make this a one shot but since it got too long i decided to cut it in two :) sorry to make you wait

Jinsol let her head fall heavily on the counter, hitting it with a loud thud. She winced in pain, her forehead starting to throb from the impact, but she was too drunk to spare it even a second thought, and instead waved vaguely at the air, hoping Yeeun or Seungyeon would see her and serve her another shot.

 

"That gave  _me_ a headache." Jungeun said, chuckling beside her. "Are you sure you don't want me to hook you up with someone? It might help you clear your head."

 

Jinsol turned her head to look at Jungeun, her cheek pressed against the cold marble, just as the blonde downed one of the two shots in front of her.

 

"I don't trust you to introduce me to girls anymore, Jungeun." Jinsol grabbed (more like dragged, but terminology wasn't important at the moment) her own shot and put it right in front of her eyes, not feeling like downing it just yet. She glared at the clear liquid, hoping to magically dump all of her problems on it.

 

"What? Why not?" Jungeun sounded scandalized, for some reason. Jinsol lifted her head and stared at the younger girl in disbelief.

 

"Ha Sooyoung, February 19th: one of your ex-girlfriends who you couldn't even  _tell me_ was your ex-girlfriend." Jinsol knew that wasn't the date she had met Sooyoung, but for the sake of dramatics (it was the only way to get through Jungeun's thick skull), she figured an invented one wasn't going to hurt.

 

"Oh, please, that was one-"

 

"Minatozaki Sana, March 23rd: she was looking for someone else to include in her polyamorous relationship with her other  _two_ girlfriends, detail I had to hear from her, instead of  _you_." Now, Jinsol wasn't sure how the polyamorous thing worked (and she had nothing against it, kudos to those who could manage a relationship with more than one person), but she was sure it wasn't her thing.

 

Jungeun frowned. "I didn't know her that well, h-"

 

"April 11th, Kim Jiwoo," Jinsol motioned with her thumb at the girl sitting at her left "Didn't even know she was being set up on a date, because you thought she felt lonely and were doing her a favour by _not telling h_ _er so._ "

 

"I- fine, sorry for trying to be a good friend to you. I won't help you from now on. No, I won't talk to you anymore, you don't deserve that privilege" Jungeun said, offended. The blonde had a big ego even while sober, so Jinsol wasn't surprised by her friend's petty reaction.

 

Jinsol downed her shot and smiled at Jiwoo. "I'm still sorry for trying to kiss you."

 

"It's fine. We became friends anyways, didn't we?" Jiwoo's loud and sweet laugh sounded like a horn in Jinsol's ears, making her flinch a little bit.

 

Jinsol nodded once, settling her gaze on the slight blush covering Jiwoo's face. The girl had a surprising drinking tolerance for her size (perks of being friends with Jungeun, Jinsol assumed), so if Jiwoo was already getting tipsy, she decided it was probably time for her to stop drinking, which she didn't particularly like.

 

"I don't need to hook up with someone, I just need to pass this stupid class." Jinsol sighed, fingers massaging her temples as she, once again, tried to will her problems away. College was proving to be difficult for the first time in three years for Jinsol, and she seemed to have run out of resources to make it easier for herself.

 

If it weren't for stupid chemistry and its importance in stupid biology. Jinsol's recently failed relationship could have been a factor to her unmotivated and distracted mind, too, which could perfectly explain why she was currently failing said class, but she didn't like to focus on that.

 

"I can give you my friend's number then." Jungeun said.

 

"Didn't you say you weren't going to talk to me anymore?"

 

"She's like, really smart. She tutored me a few years ago when I was failing math" Jungeun ignored her. Her eyes suddenly widened like plates, grinning brightly at Jinsol "Oh! She's also a biology major, that's perfect for you!"

 

Jinsol squinted her eyes at the younger girl. "Did you date her?"

 

"What? No!"

 

"Sleep with her?"

 

"No, Jinsol-"

 

" _Try_  to sleep with her?"

 

"No! Let me fi-"

 

"Ask her out?"

 

Jungeun opened her mouth to say something, but quickly closed it. So did Jinsol think. She had known Jungeun for a little over a year by then, and Jinsol was quick to learn about Jungeun's 'player' agenda. Not that the blonde had ever hid it away from her. She had tried to flirt with Jinsol the first time they ever saw each other in that same bar after all, but was quick to change her intentions the second she realized how much of a wreck (and wasted) Jinsol was.

 

"No, thanks."

 

"She rejected me! And you know why?" Jungeun asked with exasperation on her voice. She paused, partly to spite Jinsol, but the older girl only raised an eyebrow in response.

 

"Because you're rude, full of yourself, and think you're funny when you are not?" Jiwoo giggled at Jinsol's teasing question. She didn't mean it, of course, but riling each other up was part of the dynamic between the two friends, so Jungeun's smirk was nothing but amusing Jinsol just as much as her insults had amused the blonde.

 

"As if. You know I'm charming as hell" Jungeun flipped her hair and winked at Jinsol, prompting her to roll her eyes. She was tempted to order another drink just to bear with Jungeun's bullshit, but she restrained herself, remembering she had class tomorrow. "It's because she's straight."

 

Jinsol frowned, pondering it over. She knew the risks of being near a straight girl, but wasn't in a position where she could be picky, especially since, if the girl really was as smart as Jungeun said, this was the perfect opportunity to finally get chem off her back.

 

“You said you have her number?” Jungeun chuckled at her.

 

“You’re welcome.”

 

* * *

 

There were few things Jinsol enjoyed doing alone out of the comfort of her room. One of them was driving, but at that moment, the only thing Jinsol felt like doing with her car was crash it against a tree and deal with those consequences instead of the ones she was currently facing.

 

She had slept through her alarm that day, and was late to meet her new tutor. Jinsol had never been good with first impressions, so naturally she had expected something embarrassing or awful to happen to her, but this was just a royal fuck up. 

 

After _finally_  parking her car five blocks away from the library, Jinsol checked the last messages she had exchanged with her tutor, as she rushed out of the car and basically sprinted towards their meeting place.

 

**_Haseul:_ ** _Sure! A friend of Jungeun’s is a friend of mine, I’d love to help you. Does the library at 17.00 on Wednesday sound good to you?_

**_Jinsol:_ ** _yeah! thats perfect_

**_Haseul:_ ** _Great! I’ll be waiting for you at the front door_ _._

Jinsol checked the time. _17_ _:19._

 

She cringed as she turned the corner and neared the library, silently praying Haseul hadn’t left, even though she knew that was highly unlikely. Climbing up the building’s stairs two at a time, Jinsol looked up, and immediately noticed a girl standing at the top of them. She was wearing a white poncho with a colorful pattern, and since she was the only one who wasn’t entering or exiting the library, Jinsol assumed she was the person she was looking for, and picked up her pace. That was, until the girl turned around and her eyes found Jinsol.

 

Jinsol's mind immediately froze, noticing how beautiful the girl was, even from a distance. Bright and warm dark eyes stared at her, pink lips forming a little ‘o’ shape. Her brunette hair was slightly wavy, and Jinsol had the urge to run her fingers through it to see if it was as soft as it seemed. She immediately knew she wanted to be close with this girl, but in a soft, delicate way. As if the beautiful girl in front of her was a work of art, a masterpiece, but incomplete, and Jinsol was the missing piece. Jinsol never thought of herself as poetic, but this girl's beauty sparked the little creativity Jinsol had and brought it to life. Jinsol wanted to know her, and she wanted the girl to know her in return, too

 

Then she remembered Jungeun's words.

 

_Damn you, Jungeun, you should've told me how pretty she is._

Breaking free from her initial shock -read: gay panic-, Jinsol continued her way up the stairs even faster than before. As she caught up with the girl, her mouth opened to speak, a string of apologies ready to come out.

 

Jinsol never got a word out, as she tripped with one of the steps and fell face first to the floor. _Of-fucking-course._

 

“Oh my God, are you okay?!” Pretty Poncho Girl (until confirmation that she actually was Haseul, Jinsol decided to settle for that nickname) crouched and held Jinsol’s upper arm softly, trying to help her up.

 

Jinsol felt extremely dizzy, and her whole face was throbbing with pain, but she tried to play it cool. She couldn’t let Pretty Poncho Girl worry about her when her pretty face scrunched up like that “Yeah, yeah. I’m fine” Jinsol said, lamely making the ‘ok’ sign with her index finger and thumb. She hoped Pretty Poncho Girl thought the redness on her face was because of the fall, and not because she was blushing (out of both embarrassment and infatuation), as she forced herself to make eye contact “You’re Haseul, right?”

 

Pretty Poncho Girl nodded, still pulling Jinsol’s upper arm lightly.

 

“I am _so_ sorry for being late, I turned off my alarm like an idiot and-”

 

“Don’t worry about that now. Your nose is bleeding” Haseul sat down on the last step, finally giving up on getting Jinsol off the floor, and reached inside her bag, searching for something. Jinsol hadn’t even noticed the blood dripping down her nose (and mouth) until she brought her fingers to the lower half of her face and, indeed, felt the warm liquid covering it almost fully.

 

She sat up just as Haseul got a first aid kit out of her bag. Jinsol raised her eyebrows at the size of the box, and looked at the other girl.

 

“You carry a kit that big in your purse?”

 

“My sister used to get hurt pretty much every day when we were younger; she still sort of does, actually. I guess old habits die hard” She got some damp tissues and lifted Jinsol’s chin to clean the blood. Once the bleeding stopped and her face was somewhat clean, Haseul gently touched Jinsol’s nose. She flinched, her nose scrunching up, and worsening her pain “It doesn’t seem broken, luckily. I wouldn't touch it or meddle with the whole area for a while, though” she got a band aid from the kit and put it between Jinsol’s eyebrows, where she had scraped her forehead a bit. Jinsol noticed all of Haseul’s moves were gentle, done with a softness and delicacy that drew her in, wondering if she was always like that, or if she was just being extra careful with her (and if she would be just as just gentle while cuddling, which, _what the fuck Jinsol you’ve just met the girl)_. “There, all done!”

 

Rubbing the band aid on her forehead, Jinsol stared at Haseul as the girl packed her kit up. “Thank you for this, and I really am sorry about being late. I shouldn’t have made you wait like that.”

 

Haseul sighed, but still managed to smile softly at Jinsol. “No, you shouldn’t have, but it’s fine, really, I’m just glad you’re okay. Do you still want to start our session, or would you prefer it if we reschedule?”

 

Jinsol thought this couldn’t be real. This sweet, beautiful girl, who she had left waiting in front of the library for _twenty minutes_ , and had cleaned up Jinsol's bloody face after Jinsol had been a major douche to her, was still up for tutoring her. It was far more than what Jinsol deserved, and the girl silently thanked whoever was in charge of making sure angelic people like Haseul existed.

 

“Uh, I think I’d like to start the session, since, you know, I kept you waiting for so long. We can reschedule if that’s what you want, though.” Jinsol blushed, looking away from Haseul. 

 

The girl stood up, offering her hand to Jinsol, who took it nervously, to help her up. She made her way to the library with Jinsol following her diligently, trying not to focus on how soft Haseul's hand had felt, how well it had fit in her own, how nice it had been to hold it for a second.

 

_Keep it together, Jinsol, she's pretty, but straight, so keep it together._

 

* * *

Jinsol was not keeping it together.

 

Not because of Haseul (well, partly because of Haseul, but not mainly), like she had expected at first, but because of the humongous text book wide open in front of her, filled with words she didn't understand. A pile of paper sheets full of scribbles and crossed out exercises laid right next it, and Jinsol alternated her glare between the two objects, wanting for nothing else than for them to disappear forever from her life.

 

"Maybe we should end the session here." Haseul said. Jinsol almost fell to her knees, words of worship ready to come out of her mouth and compliment the other girl, but instead opted for groaning loudly and falling back against her chair, stretching her long, aching limbs. Haseul wasn't a bad tutor (she was  _amazing_ , Jinsol even thought she was better at explaining the subject than her own professor, Jungeun hadn't been kidding when she said the girl was smart), but Jinsol still struggled with learning the content, and then thinking the exercises through. Fortunately, Haseul was patient (god bless her soul), and had no problem with explaining the same thing over and over again, and solving the exercises detailing every step, until she was sure Jinsol got everything she had said and done through her skull.

 

Naturally, Jinsol knew the girl was there to make her understand and study the material, but she still couldn't help but feel like she was annoying Haseul, wasting her time in a way, especially after how their first meeting had gone. So, as the other girl started to pack her notes, Jinsol spoke awkwardly.

 

"Hey, I know I've said this before, but thank you for doing this. I  _really_ need help with this class, and, well, I know I'm very slow with it and you could be doing other things, more useful things, so I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for-" Jinsol paused to catch her breath and think. Haseul was looking attentively at her now, making the girl even more nervous "Being like this? I don't know, I just think it can get frustrating for you and I would totally get it if you didn't want to tutor me anymore." Jinsol paused again. After a few seconds of silence, she continued "And again, sorry about the way we met, I promise I'm usually always on time and I don't tend to fall and bleed all over the place."

 

Haseul, who had opened her mouth to say something after the second pause, frowned, the last part of Jinsol's rant catching her attention "Jinsol, we've met before today."

 

_Huh?_

 

"We- we have?" Jinsol hated how she stuttered, surprised at Haseul's words.

 

"Yeah? I helped you and Vivi move in to your new apartment at the beginning of the year."

 

 If Jinsol wasn't blushing before, she sure was after that statement.

 

"You don't remember, do you?" Haseul asked amused as Jinsol buried her red face in her hands and groaned.

 

"Stupid, clumsy, irresponsible, and now  _rude_ too" the taller out of the two muttered, not really meaning for Haseul to hear it (the small chuckle she got in return indicated that she had, indeed, heard her) "I am  _so_ sorry."

 

Haseul stood up and approached Jinsol. She gently grabbed her wrists, and got her hands away from the girl's face to look at her in the eyes. Jinsol couldn't help but frown in confusion when she saw Haseul's soft smile (she also chose to ignore the way her heart skipped a beat when she looked into those warm, sweet, brown eyes). Haseul should have been mad at her, or offended at the very least. Not smiling like Jinsol was a confused, lost, and cute puppy.

 

"You're not stupid, Jinsol. I actually think you're quite smart, and full of potential, you just need a little help, and I don't mind being the one who helps you. As for the rest of what you said..." she sighed, her smile turning sheepish "You apologize way too much for things you didn't do. Hell, you apologize too much for things you _did_ do."  Haseul chuckled "But I guess I can forgive you for not remembering me, we didn't talk that much after all" another pause "Maybe you can make it up to me for being late, though?"

 

Jinsol smiled back, and tried to hide how her ears were burning out of embarrassment "What do you have in mind?"

 

The smile Haseul gave her made Jinsol's stomach stirr. She knew what it could potentially mean, and she dreaded it, but she could also feel a sense of excitement and giddiness she hadn't felt in a long time. "I'll text you. We should also come up with a tutoring schedule, but that'll have to be later because I have class and I gotta run." she said as she walked backwards "See you around, Jinsol!" and with a last smile and a little wave, Haseul left.

 

* * *

Jinsol was in the process of feeding her four betta fish when her bedroom door forcefully burst open, making her jump and squeal in surprise. Jungeun stood on her threshold with a determined face, an apologetic Kahei popping from behind her and offering Jinsol a small smile.

 

"I told her to knock" her roomate said. Jinsol smiled back at her and shook her head, trying to let her know she did nothing wrong. She then proceeded to glare at Jungeun, who was staring at her just as intensely.

 

"So, how did it go?"

 

"How did what go?" Jinsol shot back, turning back to her fish, gently dropping Soul's respective portion into his tank.

 

"You and Haseul? What she told me was very vague, and she's barely returning my texts." Kahei frowned in confusion at Jungeun's words, and looked at Jinsol with squinted eyes

 

"You went on a date with Haseul? My friend, Haseul? The same one you barely spoke two words to when I introduced her to you? _That_  Haseul?"

 

Jinsol groaned at her two overbearing friends "Yes,  _that_ Haseul, I don't need you to remind me how shitty I was to her. And it wasn't a date, she's my chem tutor. Jungeun gave me her number."

 

Kahei hummed in response "Makes sense" the pink haired girl said while entering her room. As she was about to close the door, she smirked at Jinsol "Explains why she's been asking about you recently."

 

Both Jinsol's and Jungeun's heads snapped at the pink haired girl's comment, just as the door to Kahei's room closed with a soft click.

 

" _What?_   Wong Kahei, get back here and explain!"

 

Jinsol didn't allow herself the luxury of thinking over what Kahei had said, one of the reasons being that she knew Haseul was straight, and there was no point in getting her hopes up (even though her beating heart tried to tell her that it was already late for that). The second reason was Jungeun being her loud and obnoxious self.

 

"Will you shut  _up_ already! We have neighbours, you know?" the tall brunette said, while grabbing the hood of Jungeun's sweatshirt and pulling the girl into her room, closing the door behind her.

 

"I totally knew it!" Jungeun exclaimed in return, pumping her fist in the air and ignoring Jinsol's protest, as she usually did. "I knew that girl didn't have a straight bone in her body, my gaydar is still immaculate and undefeated" the blonde turned and smirked at Jinsol "Say 'thank you, Jungeun', say it."

 

Jinsol huffed, her eyes automatically rolling to the back of her head at Jungeun's words "It almost seems like you were trying to set us up."  _Or me, more accurately,_ Jinsol thought.

 

"Oh no, I actually was giving you a hand, this is totally an accident. An appreciated one, but an accident nonetheless." Jungeun sat on her desk chair, and immediately put her feet up dangerously close to Jinsol's fish tanks "Now, spill, I wanna know  _everything_ that happened."

 

"Nothing happened, Jungeun. There's nothing going on between me and Haseul. She's just my tutor." just as Jinsol finished that sentence, her phone buzzed loudly on her desk. Before she could do something about it though, Jungeun was up on her feet, snatching her phone, and skipping to the other side of the room while unlocking it.

 

" _Ooooooh_ , so this is why Haseul won't answer any of my texts, she's busy texting you." Jungeun giggled, as Jinsol scrumbled to get her phone out of her hands (the  _spawn of the devil's_ hands) "I don't get it, though, your flirting game is wack. Or at least it is compared to mine."

 

" _Jungeun._ Give me my phone back." Jungeun pushed her back lightly and jumped over the bed, putting a considerable amount of distance between them yet again.

 

"No, I'm trying to help you here, my dear friend. Talking about your fish? Lame. Let's raise it up a notch, shall we?" and with that, Jungeun sprinted out of her room, and locked herself in the bathroom.

 

" _JUNGEUN!_ Open the  _fucking_ door!"Jinsol pounded on the door with her fist a couple of times, but it was fruitless. Jungeun would not open the door for her, and she had just started considering kicking the door down (even if she had little to no leg muscle), when a voice spoke from behind her.

 

"Move" Jinsol's eyes met a bored-looking Kahei carrying a small key. She hurriedly moved aside, allowing Kahei to step forward and insert the key in the doorknob's keyhole. Once the door was opened, Jinsol mumbled a quick _thanks_ to Kahei, and wasted no time in getting in the bathroom, making Jungeun jump. They wrestled like two children for a few minutes, until Jinsol licked Jungeun's face on a desperate attempt, and the blonde dropped the phone as a string of curse words left her mouth. Jinsol cringed when the phone hit the bathroom's tiles with a loud  _crack_.

 

"That was so  _gross,_ Jinsol! What are you, three?" Jungeun kept complaining while Jinsol slowly picked up her phone in fear. The screen was a bit cracked in the corner, but her open chat with Haseul was what made her heart start beating anxiously.

 

**_Haseul:_ ** _Just finished cooking dinner. What about you?_

 

_**Jinsol:** nothing much, feeding my fish_

 

_**Haseul:** Fish? You have fish? Who even owns fish these days hahaha_

 

Then Jinsol started reading Jungeun's texts and felt her face grow red with each one the blonde had managed to send.

 

**_Jinsol:_ ** _yeah i know i'm kinda lame :(((_

**_Jinsol:_ ** _you know what i would like to own tho?_

 

_**Haseul:** What?  
_

 

**_Jinsol:_ ** _a kitty ;)_

 

_**Haseul:** Hahahahaha doesn't that put your fish in danger?  
_

 

**_Jinsol:_ ** _not really, the kind of kitty i want isn't really into fish, as far as i know_

**_Jinsol:_ ** _tho i hope it likes meajfkldjgfhkjgckxlhkhjcgcnbjfdlb_

 

Jinsol lifted her head up to glare at Jungeun "You are  _so_ dead" Jungeun's eyes grew as wide as plates, and she bolted out of the bathroom before the dark hair girl had any time to do anything. Jinsol was just about to go after her when her phone vibrated, a message from Haseul being displayed on the screen.

 

**_Haseul:_ ** _Jinsol???? are you okay????????????_

 

 

Jinsol rushed to reply.

**_Jinsol:_ ** _yes yes yes im so sorry jungeun took mty phone from me and i got it bacj just now i hsd to take dratic measeures to take it from jungeun_

 

 

And Haseul's response was almost immediate.

 

**_Haseul:_ ** _Oh thank god I was wondering if I was imagining the innuendos or if they were for real._

**_Haseul:_ ** _Please smack Jungeun in the back of the head for me._

 

Jinsol smiled down at the screen.

 

_**Jinsol:** yes ma'am_

 

Walking out of the bathroom and into the hallway, Jinsol never let her smile leave her face as she searched for Jungeun. She found her sitting on the kitchen counter eating out of a peanut butter jar with a spoon, her back facing Jinsol as she hummed a melody. She had probably decided she was safe after realizing Jinsol hadn't chased her down like she had expected to, and, that, in Jinsol's opinion, had been a mistake.

 

Jinsol approached her as silently as she could, and with a quick flick of her wrist, she hit Jungeun right in the back of the head. Startled, Jungeun dropped the spoon with a loud  _ow_ , getting peanut butter all over the floor.

 

"Oh you're cleaning that up." Jinsol said walking back and letting herself fall on the couch. She sent Haseul a quick text saying that it was done, and waited for her response as Jungeun glared at her while massaging the back of her head.

 

"What was that for?"

 

"Who am I to deny a lady's whishes?" she replied to Jungeun, shaking her phone softly to show the blonde who she was talking about. Jungeun rolled her eyes and huffed, getting a few napkins and a rag to clean the floor.

 

"You're whipped already."

 

"No I'm not, you deserved that, there's a difference." Jinsol said, looking down at her phone as he received another message from Haseul.

 

**_Haseul:_ ** _Hey, remember how I said you could make it up to me for being late?_

 

Jinsol cringed. She was still pretty much embarrassed about that.

 

_**Jinsol:** wouldn't be able to forget about it even if i tried_

 

_**Haseul:** Yeah, well, something might have came up..._

 

Jinsol raised her eyebrows at that last text.

 

_**Haseul:** How do you feel about roller skating?_

 

The dark haired girl smiled. She didn't know what about Haseul made her feel this elated, this relaxed, and at the same time so nervous and anxious. And even if the feeling wasn't entirely welcome (Jinsol was dumb, yes, but she knew when she was starting to like someone), she didn't mind, she knew that she should mind, but at the moment, as she replied to Haseul, Jinsol couldn't bring herself to care about the repercussions this might bring later on.

 

She was just about to send the text when something wet and rough hit her straight in the face.

 

"You aren't allowed to smile like a lovesick puppy until I get  _details."_

 

"Did you just throw the rag at my face?!"

 

* * *

 

"You know, when you mentioned roller skating, I had something slightly different in mind." Jinsol said, gripping the railing of the skating ring as hard as she could while moving forward, trying to keep up with Haseul, who was effortlessly sliding right beside her and looking ahead (Jinsol couldn't help but envy her skating ability).

 

"Why? We're on a skating ring, skating, what else did you expect?" Haseul chuckled.

 

"Well, I wasn't really expecting your sister and her friends to be here. I thought this was more of a..." Jinsol had to physically bite her tongue to prevent the word  _date_ of rolling out her mouth. It had been a little more than two weeks since they had started their tutoring sessions, settling for Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays at different hours as their schedule, so not only they had managed to spend a little more time together, but they also texted on the daily, giving them the opportunity to grow close and know more things about each other. When Jinsol thought about how quick their friendship had developed, she didn't really find it weird, or rushed, and considering how much of an introvert she was, it came as a surprise to her. Something about Haseul just seemed to click with her, and from the other girl's behavior towards her, Jinsol could only guess it was the same for her "Friendly outing?"

 

"Are you asking me?" Haseul replied, amusement dripping from her tone. Jinsol rolled her eyes and tried to punch her lightly, but quickly regretted it as she lost her footing and started slipping. Haseul only laughed at her panicked and then offended, red face "I don't see why this can't be a "friendly outing" while we also keep an eye on my sister. Just because it's her birthday and we are on watch dog duty doesn't mean we can't have fun."

 

"First of all,  _you_ are on watch dog duty, I'm just doing you a solid for being an asshole. Second, I would hardly call falling to my death  _fun_." Jinsol said, a deep frown settled in her brow.

 

"You're so dramatic, Sol." Haseul laughed once again, the nickname she had come up with for her rolling on her tongue fondly "Here."

 

Jinsol looked down at Haseul's hands, extended right in front of her, for Jinsol to take. She felt her neck, her cheeks and her ears grow hotter, a blush surely settling there, as she took one of Haseul's hands, while the other remained holding for dear life to the railing.

 

"That's good, Sol, but I need you to grab both of my hands, yeah?" Haseul was looking at her with those soft, brown eyes that never failed to make Jinsol feel like her stomach was all mushy and tender (but in a good way).

 

Slowly, the taller girl loosened her grip on the metal bar, and brought it closer to Haseul, when she suddenly lost her balance. Haseul was quick enough to grab her by the arm, to prevent her from falling, but since Jinsol was heavier than her, she dragged Haseul down to the ground with her. Jinsol's back hit the floor, barely having any time to gasp in pain, as Haseul's entire body weight fell on top of her, quite literally taking her breathe away.

 

But Haseul was laughing, she was  _laughing,_ and the sound was so melodious Jinsol couldn't even be upset about her aching body.

 

"It's not funny" she said with a pout.

 

"Yeah it is. This is the second time in two weeks I've seen you fall down, and Vivi always tell me how much of a klutz you are. Also your face was hilarious."

 

Jinsol shook her head, trying to hide her smile behind a pout "You're mean. Why would you bring me to a place that will certainly become my death bed?"

 

"You said you were okay with! If you didn't wanna come you should've just said so." Haseul says between chuckles, and the sight makes Jinsol's chest feel fuzzy.

 

"But I wanted to come" she said, deepening her pout. Haseul glanced down at it for a second, before rolling her eyes. Jinsol decided she must have been imagining how heavy Haseul's (short) stare felt on her lips.

 

"Then don't complain and skate with me, goof." Haseul said, getting off Jinsol and standing up. She offered a hand to Jinsol, and the dark haired girl took it again.

 

This time, Haseul didn't try to grab both of her hands, settling with just one, and Jinsol didn't go after the railing, instead choosing to have a little faith in Haseul's skating skills.

 

"We'll do this slowly, okay?" Haseul said, voice barely louder than whisper, as she started to move "Slide one foot..." Jinsol tried to mimic Haseul's stance and movements as best as she could without falling. Surprisingly enough, her foot didn't give out as she followed Haseul "And then the other."

 

With Haseul's hand clasped in her own (or more like her hand clasped in Haseul's, considering she was the one leading, but who would care about the difference? Definitely not Jinsol, as long as she was holding Haseul's hand), Jinsol could almost pretend they were on a date. Of course, Jinsol knew that was not the case, taking in to account Haseul was well placed on the friendship lane, and, well, she was straight. But Jinsol figured daydreaming a bit had never hurt anyone.

 

And so, after their "date" was over, Jinsol found herself thinking about Haseul increasingly more often. She thought about her during class, at work, at home, while hanging out with Jungeun or Jiwoo or Sooyoung or Kahei. Hell, she even thought of Haseul while she was with Haseul, either studying or just having fun together. Jinsol liked it when she laughed, when she smiled, when she pouted during their banters, when her whole face lit up like Christmas tree whenever Jinsol got a chemistry question right at the first try (or whenever she got it right, period), when she talked about how infuriating her sister was but how she would still die and kill for her, and Jinsol liked it when Haseul looked at her with her big, soft,  _gorgeous,_ brown eyes.

 

Jinsol liked Haseul, and she had no way of denying it now.

 

But it was just a tiny crush. Jinsol had had many of those before, especially on straight girls, and they usually went away after a while. Why should Haseul be any different?

 

* * *

 

Jinsol  honked one, two, three times as she watched a very sleepy  Hyunjin and Yerim slowly walked to her car.

 

"Hurry up, losers, or you're gonna be late!" the older girl yelled at them, honking one more time for good measure. Jinsol had never minded having a schedule that sort of matched with the ones her cousins had, since it was a way of seeing each other more, and Jinsol had always loved spending time with the twins. Every Saturday and Tuesday morning, Jinsol would drive Hyunjin to her basketball practice, then drop Yerim at campus so that she could attend her unfortunate morning classes, and then finally head to the campus's pool and swim a few lengths. It was strange, in a way, having her little cousins deal with college, especially since it was the same college Jinsol was attending. She guessed she had gotten so used to picking them up from school for three years, that even after almost five months of Hyunjin and Yerim entering the "adult world" (why did people refer to it like that? Jinsol didn't really feel like an adult, though she didn't feel like a teenager either), Jinsol was not ready to see them as anything else but her little cousins who would ask her to play tag with them, or adopt ten kitties without their parents finding out.

 

"Do you always have to be so loud? I swear you're worse than Yerim sometimes." Hyunjin said as she entered the car, a scowl being shamelessly settled on her face.

 

"I take offence in that, no one is louder than me." Yerim replied, getting in the car from the other side.

 

"Where do you think you get it from? You learned everything about loudness from me, you little shit." Jinsol said, starting the car.

 

"And now the student has surpassed the teacher, and she has to learn to deal with that" Jinsol shook her head, chuckling, as Yerim very awkwardly tried to bow in the tiny space the back of the car offered.

 

Jinsol stared at the twins through the rear-view mirror with a suddenly serious face "So how are your classes going? Ready for finals?" both girls groaned, and Jinsol couldn't help but laugh at their misery, even though she could relate.

 

"I don't know what I hate more: the shitload of material I have to study or your mom questions every Saturday." Hyunjin muttered, closing her eyes and leaning back on her seat.

 

Jinsol gaped, turning for a second to look at Hyunjin in disbelief "I take you to your practices every morning, I've never missed any of your matches, and  _this_ is how you treat me? Maybe I'll stop spitting out my lungs cheering for you, and who knows? My alarm might stop working from now on."

 

Hyunjin smiled, and soon enough, the younger girl was cracking up at Jinsol's offended words. Yerim joined her, and Jinsol finally gave up and managed a wide smile.

 

"But really, how are you two doing? We don't see each other as much anymore, and I feel like I barely know what you're doing these days." Jinsol said softly, trying to get an answer from them this time.

 

"It's fine I guess, it's a lot of work compared to high school, but we manage." Yerim answered for the two of them, Hyunjin nodding affirmatively while her eyes were still closed.

 

"What about those two girls you mentioned a few weeks ago?" Jinsol tried hard to remember their names, snapping her fingers once she did "Heejin and Hyejoo, right?"

 

Yerim groaned again, while Hyunjin remained silent. Jinsol figured she had fallen asleep, and decided not to bother her. She knew how precious sleep was when it came down to college life.

 

"I think she has a girlfriend. I mean,I've seen her hanging out with this blonde girl a lot lately, but I don't know if they are just friends or something more, you know? And it's really frustrating because I can't just ask her. Imagine if your partner in a project just came to you and said 'hey! I was wondering if you were dating that girl I always see you with. What do you think we should write for the third item, by the way?'. Absolutely not."

 

"Well, maybe you don't have to outright ask her. You could just ease the subject into the conversation, saying you want to know her better and be friends and stuff." Jinsol offered as advice.

 

Yerim frowned "That sounds embarrassing."

 

"Oh, come on, Yerim! You've always been friendly and outgoing and nice, and people like you! This should be a piece of cake for you, even if you're nervous. I know first crushes are hard to handle, but I don't think you have anything to worry about. And if she's dating that girl, maybe you'll cry about it, maybe you won't, but you'll pull through, trust me. Been there, done that."

 

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Yerim pondered on Jinsol's words for advice, and then smiled "You're still shit at giving advice, though."

 

Jinsol burst out laughing (she really was shit at giving advice). "I think you've been hanging out with Jungeun a little too much, Yerimmie."

 

When it came down to her cousins, Jinsol had always felt close to them. When they were kids, it was their love for silly games, art and animals what brought them together, and when they got older, it was also their identities. Jinsol felt familiar enough with them already, but when they had asked Jinsol to meet them at their house, and had told her crying that both of them liked girls, Jinsol thought she had never loved her cousins more than in that moment. In tears, Jinsol had come out to them as well, and the three of them had cried and hugged and watched movies until they were peacefully asleep, their bond even stronger than before. Ever since that day, Jinsol had become even more protective of her cousins and their hearts, their friendships, their safety. She provided a shoulder for them to cry on, someone they could trust with any troubles they had, and they returned the favor by being all that to Jinsol, too.

 

"I think I'm gonna ask her out." Hyunjin suddenly said, so quietly Jinsol wondered if she had imagined it. But Yerim's excited squeal was all the confirmation she needed.

 

" _What?_ For real? And you didn't tell me of this before?!" Hyunjin flinched and covered her ears with her hands, as her sister kept yelling right beside her.

 

"Well, I'm telling you now."

 

"Yes dummy, but I should've been the  _first_ person to know."

 

"Shut up Yerim, as your lesbian mentor, if there was anyone who had the right to know about this first, it was me." Jinsol lightly "scolded" Yerim. She then turned her attention to Hyunjin, setting her gaze on her through the rear-view mirror and giving her a smile "You sure about this? I mean, I'm happy for you, don't get me wrong, but I don't want you rushing into something you are not ready for."

 

Hyunjin sighed "I apreciate the concern, Jinsol, and I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous, but I'm tired of restraining myself around her. Having to watch out on everything I say or do is just exhausting at this point, and what's the worst that could happen? She already knows I'm gay and she doesn't have a problem with it, so that just leaves me with her being straight, getting rejected, and losing her as a friend, which I'm not willing to let happen. And it's like you said, maybe I'll cry about it, but I'll get over it." Hyunjin looked out the window, her eyebrows meeting together in a frown. Jinsol feels her chest soar with pride, an overflowing feeling of love for her cousin filling her chest.

 

"Oh god, are you seriously crying right now?" Yerim says, laughing at Jinsol, and when Hyunjin turns to look at her curiously, she joins on her laughter at Jinsol's slightly tear filled eyes.

 

"I'm sensitive, okay? This is a huge thing, and I'm very proud of you Hyunjinnie, but you better stop laughing at me or I'll leave you right here at the side of the road." 

 

"Please, you don't have the spine for it, and you know it" Hyunjin rolled her eyes at Jinsol.

 

After a few moments of silence, Yerim leaned forward, resting her chin on the passenger's seat. "What about you, Jinsol? Any girls you want to tell us about?"

 

Jinsol's mind immediately went to Haseul. She had never minded talking about her feelings, especially to her cousins. After being confronted by a girl on 5th grade about how she always seemed more interested in girls than boys, and then proceeded to then be publicly humiliated and "outed" (Jinsol had denied firmly any questions regarding hersexuality, but no one ever believed her, so yeah, middle school had been a bitch) by that same girl. So, when high school came around, Jinsol owned her sexuality, and promised herself to never go through that again, dealing with whatever she was feeling and never be ashamed of it, not letting _anyone_ making her feel bad about who she was. Thanks to that promise, she had managed to confess to a fair amount of girls (some of them gently rejected her, while others returned her feelings), always sure about her crushes. That's how she had gotten together with her last girlfriend (even if that had ended disastrously), but, for some reason, her feelings for Haseul wasn't something she was very willing to admit. She had never thought "silly" crushes existed, they were just crushes, but this... this  _thing_ she had with Haseul, as wonderful as it made Jinsol feel, it also scared the hell out of her, and that was something she had never experienced before, or, at least, not since that fateful day of middle school. And that was why Jinsol was so hesitant to tell her cousins about it, about Haseul. She had always preached to them about being confident in your feelings, but now here she was, refusing to admit she had a crush on a  _beautiful_ , very straight girl, or not giving it the importance she should be giving it.

 

"Maybe" she replied vaguely.

 

Hyunjin perked up, suddenly interested in the conversation, while Yerim gasped and hit Jinsol in the arm repeatedly, saying  _shut up shut up shut up_ all over again with a smile on her face.

 

"Stop that, Yerim! Do you want us to crash?" Jinsol exclaimed, tightening her grip on the stearing wheel.

 

"I don't think that's possible at the speed you're going" Hyunjin mumbled.

 

"Who cares about crashing the car when you like someone after, what, seven months? Eight? Tell us who is it." Jinsol side eyed Yerim in disbelief, and was just about to reply when the younger girl interrupted her "Is it Jungeun?  _Please,_  tell me it's Jungeun."

 

Jinsol burst out laughing, tears forming in her eyes at Yerim's words. Her and  _Jungeun_? Of all people? Never. "That's a good one, Yerimmie, really funny. Jungeun and I are just friends and I don't think we'd ever like each other that way."

 

Hyunjin looked at Yerim with a smirk and offered her hand to her twin. "Pay up." Yerim groaned, pulling 50 000 won out of her pocket and giving them to Hyunjin. Understanding what had just happened, Jinsol gasped at her two cousins.

 

"You  _bet_ on me and Jungeun?!"

 

"Jungeun and I."

 

"Shut up, Hyunjin."

 

"Can you blame us? You two are always joking around and being all hatefully flirty with each other, I got vibes!" Yerim raised her hands in surrender, shrugging.

 

"And you were wrong, as usual."

 

"Shut up, Hyunjin."

 

"Damn, you two are extra salty today." Hyunjin laughed "Now that I got my money, back to the issue at hand." she pointed at Jinsol with an accusing finger and a serious face. "Who do you like, Jindollie?" Jinsol hated that nickname, simply because she had a lot of trouble resisting it whenever someone called her that, and Hyunjin knew so.

 

"Her name's Haseul, my new chem tutor, and I don't  _like_ her, it's just a little crush. Besides, she's straight and we're only friends."

 

Her two cousins remained silent for a few seconds, until-

 

"This is so sad, Alexa play 'Despacito'"

 

"One like, one respect for our fallen soldier."

 

"I hate you both." Jinsol laughed.

 

"Can't believe you willingly got involved with a straight girl, I thought you were smarter than that." Hyunjin sighed, looking through the window again.

 

"It wasn't really willingly, to be honest. I have classes to pass, Jinnie." Jinsol frowned.

 

"Maybe you still have a chance with her!" Yerim exclaimed, her optimistic self shining through "You thought Dabin was straight too, and then you told her how you felt and you got together!"

 

Jinsol cringed at her ex's name. "Yeah, and then we spent most of our relationship hiding from others, our fights were unbearable, and finally she broke up with me and transferred schools because she 'couldn't do this anymore'"

 

The memory of her ex girlfriend was always bitter to Jinsol. They had had good, happy moments together when they first started dating, but things got gradually more and more complicated the more they saw each other, the more they opened up about their fears and insecurities. Dabin had been amazing, and Jinsol had loved her with her entire heart, but their relationship had failed long before it ended, and Jinsol wished she had done things differently as to not end on such an  _awful_ note.

 

It had taken time, but she had gotten over her, even if the horrible feeling of regret hit her from time to time.

 

( _I should have broken up with her sooner, I shouldn't have said this, I shouldn't have said that, I should have given her more time to think before asking her to be my girlfriend, I should have_ known  _she wasn't okay with who she was_ )

 

"Right, sorry." Yerim deflated.

 

"No, it's not your fault, Yerimmie" Jinsol sighed. She parked the car on one of the campus's many parking lots, the indoor gym and outdoor courts being visible on their right while the Humanities building was at their left. Jinsol looked back at her two cousins. "I am sorry, you just meant to cheer me up. But don't worry about me guys, I'll be fine. Focus on your studies, Hyunjin you train hard for your matches and win that girl's heart, and you Yerim, don't give up with your partner, alright? I mean, always remember she's not obligated to have any feelings for you just because you're nice, and if your advances are not well received then stop immediately, but-"

 

"Okay, I'm gonna go before you start with your 'deconstructing rape-culture' rant -that you've already given us eleven times, by the way, I counted them- and make me be late" Hyunjin interrupted her. She opened the door, but seemed to hesitate to get out. Making up her mind, Hyunjin leaned forward, peaking beside the driver's seat, and kissed Jinsol on the cheek. "Thanks for the ride, big sis. Good luck with the straight girl!" and with that, Hyunjin was gone, leaving a shocked Jinsol and Yerim behind. Hyunjin wasn't very big on any kind of display of affection, so every time it happened (on a blue moon), it was a little bit hard not to be surprised by it.

 

"I think I'm gonna go, too." Yerim said, turning to Jinsol and offering her a smile and a wink "Don't worry, I got what you were trying to say, and I might have a plan." the younger girl got out of the car and waved at her cousin "Bye, Jinsol!"

 

Later on, when Jinsol was taking a shower right after two long hours of swimming, her mind went back to the conversation she had had with her cousins. She smiled, happy for them and their determination, but deep in her heart, she couldn't help but be envious of them. She missed being the way she used to be before Dabin, sure of herself and fearless, aware of her surroundings as well as her inner struggles values. She thought of Haseul, sweet, kind, Haseul, who wanted nothing more than to help her and be her friend.

 

Jinsol wanted to be her friend, too, but the prospect of wanting to be  _more_ , wanting something she couldn't ask or get from Haseul made her feel the tiniest and most vulnerable she had felt in her life.

 

* * *

 

 

"You know, I've realized something this week, and I've been thinking about it these past few days." Haseul said, suddenly.

 

Jinsol hummed in response, half listening, half concentrating on the sheet in front of her full of chem problems "What did you realize?"

 

"We've been seeing each other every week for the past two months, and even hang out outside of tutoring, but I still don't know much about you." Jinsol frowned at Haseul's words, stilling the pencil she was frantically using to resolve the problems.

 

"But you know a lot about me."

 

Haseul sighed "I know you want to be a marine biologist, that you really like fish and sharks, that you have two cousins who you're very close with but you don't keep in touch with your parents much, that you're my best friend's roommate, that you work as a receptionist on a vet's office, and other trivial things like that. I wouldn't really say that's 'a lot'."

 

Jinsol leaned back on her chair and smiled softly at Haseul "I don't think those are trivial things, but fine, I'll indulge you. What do you want to know?" Haseul perked up, dragging her own chair across the floor to be close to Jinsol, so she could whisper without anyone hearing their conversation, and Jinsol could hear her better.

 

"Okay, okay, first things first. Any boyfriend I should know about?"

 

Jinsol wanted to laugh. She really did.

 

(She also thought Haseul knew, or that she would have figured it out by now, considering how smart the girl was).

 

"Nope." Jinsol said, biting her lip to prevent the boisterous laugh to come out of her mouth and get them kicked out of the library.

 

"What about exes?" Haseul nudged her arm lightly "Any undeserving, trashy, boy used to be in your life? You are quite the catch, if I do say so myself."

 

Jinsol raised an eyebrow at Haseul "No, never dated a boy."

 

"But Vivi mentioned you were on a relationship befo-" as Haseul started to realize, a bright blush spread across her face. She groaned, hiding her face in her hands. "I totally just assumed your sexuality, right?"

 

Jinsol let herself give Haseul a wide grin. "Yep, but it's fine, I forgive you."

 

"So you're..."

 

"Gay? A lesbian? A girl who likes girls? A raging homosexual? Yes, a 100%." She said, taking Haseul's wrists and gently getting her hands out of that pretty face of hers. She was still blushing, with a pout now joining it, and Jinsol could feel her heart melt at the sight.

 

"I'm really sorry."

 

"It's fine." Jinsol said. "Why do you want to know about my love life, anyway?"

 

"I don't know, isn't that the next step onto every friendship?" Haseul shrugged.

 

"Depends on the friendship, really. But if you're so desperate to know, I had an entirety of four girlfriends in my entire life, I fell in love with two of them, and I had a few casual dates here and there." Jinsol listed.

 

"You fell in love?" and then there was something Jinsol had never seen on Haseul: curiosity, mixed with something she couldn't quite put a finger on, but it wasn't a good feeling on Haseul, and Jinsol could tell by the very defined frown wrinkling her forehead.

 

Jinsol reached out without thinking and soothed Haseul's scrunched up eyebrows with her thumb, being as gentle as she could be. For the sake of her sanity, she decided to ignore the blush that was once again covering Haseul's cheeks. "Yeah. My first girlfriend was  _wonderful_ , she was funny and kind, and was never afraid to show how much she cared about me, it really was inevitable to fall in love with her. We got together when we were seventeen and dated for one year and a half."

 

" _A year and a half?!_ " Haseul yelled in disbelief. They were shushed by a few students around them, and the younger girl apologized silently and profusely, that slight blush Jinsol adored never seeming to leave her face. She turned back to Jinsol and exhaled "I don't think I've ever had a relationship that long. Hell, I think my longest relationship was about, six months? I'm not sure."

 

Jinsol nodded in understanding. "Men are disappointing."

 

"I actually agree." Haseul giggled "What happened? Why did you guys break up?"

 

"What usually happens, we grew apart, and she started to have feelings for someone else. Nothing ground breaking, and we even decided to stay friends after it." Jinsol shrugged. She really didn't talk to Heeyeon anymore, but their relationship was probably one of the best things that had happen to Jinsol in high school.

 

"And what about the second one?" Jinsol visibly flinched, and Haseul noticed. "Not as nice of a story, I suppose?"

 

"No, not really. It was great at first, but..." a sigh left Jinsol unvoluntarily "She had a lot of things to figure out, so I wouldn't say she was ready to be with a girl."

 

Haseul dropped her gaze to the floor, deep in thought. Jinsol would be lying if she said she didn't find Haseul's sudden interest on the girls she had been with at least a little bit suspicious, but the thing was, she was not sure if it was just her wishful thinking, paranoia, or if her gaydar slightly going off wasn't failing her this time ( _god_ was she starting to sound like Jungeun).

 

"What is it with the questions about my ex-girlfriends? I promise they are not in the picture and I only have space for you in my heart." Jinsol joked, a wink coming naturally alongside the sentence. And, yeah, she liked acting confident and all that, but the reality was, she was  _freaking out_ and  _oh god why the fuck did she say that wait is Haseul blushing?_

 

Still not meeting Jinsol's eyes, Haseul giggled. "I'm flattered."

 

"You should be, you did say I was a catch, after all." Jinsol's phone started to buzz, the alarm she had set up to signal the end of every tutoring session going off. "Maybe we can continue this over dinner? Kahei is having Sooyoung over tonight and I'm giving them some time alone. Besides, I'm assuming there are more things you want to talk about and I still haven't interrogated you about your  _own_ love life yet." Jinsol said as she started to gather her things and putting them away, Haseul mirroring her actions with a thoughtful expression. "I can call Jungeun if you have other plans, though."

 

"No, no, I'd love to have dinner with you." Haseul replied, bright smile spreading across her face. "But if you want to call Jungeun anyway it doesn't bother me."

 

Jinsol thought over it for a moment, giving Haseul a devilish smirk. "Nah, I think I want you all to myself tonight."

 

" _Stop_ that, Jinsol!" Haseul said, punching Jinsol's arm, as she blushed intensely one more time.

 

Jinsol decided she quite liked making Haseul blush, so, no, she was not going to stop.

 

* * *

 

 "You brought me to a tteokbokki place?" Haseul asked, scandalized.

 

"Hey, I had to pay student loans this is week, it's what I can afford for now"

 

 "You should've told me, I can pay for my food, you know."

 

"Oh, you will. I never said this was my treat." Jinsol replied, amused at Haseul's pout and rolling eyes

 

"How romantic."

 

Jinsol raised her eyebrows at Haseul's comment, the younger girl seemingly not realizing the implication in her own words.

 

"I wasn't aware this was a date?" Jinsol said, turning off the engine, and side-eyeing her friend.

 

Haseul's face immediately went red (again). "I- I didn't mean it like that, I-"

 

"I'm kidding, Haseul" The tall brunette giggled at her mumbling, deciding to give the girl a break from all her teasing. How much did Jinsol wish to be serious about that question, though, was something she didn't want to think over. "I know that's not what you meant."

 

"Oh. Yeah, okay. Not that going on a date with you would be a bad thing, I think that any girl would be lucky to do it, and to be your girlfriend, because you're pretty cool, and pretty, and really funny, and-" Jinsol found it funny how  _she_ had been the nervous, rambling mess when they had first met, and now here they were, their roles reversed, and her heart was all but keeping calm on her chest.

 

"I get it, Haseul, I'm a catch." Jinsol laughed a bit more, stepping out of the car and approaching the passenger's side. she opened the door, but before Haseul could move, she asked. "Do you want me to order for you? There is barely any line left, and it's pretty cold outside. I don't want you to freeze your ass for nothing."

 

Haseul got out of the car, closing the door behind her. "Nonsense, it's not for nothing if it's in your company."

 

Jinsol wondered how the girl who was blushing a deep shade of red in her car a few minutes ago was the same girl who could pull compliments out of thin air so easily, making  _her_ face turn a bright red.

 

"Huh, we are not too far from my apartment. Maybe we can walk there after getting our food? I think I have a bottle of whiskey we can share." Haseul said as the two girls got in line, their breath coming out in thick clouds of warm air. "You can stay over if you want, too, I don't mind."

 

Jinsol wasn't sure if that was a good idea, but smiled at Haseul nonetheless, unable to deny anything to the shorter girl when she was looking at her with bright, hopeful eyes, that showed how much Haseul  _wanted_ her to stay over. "Sure, I'll text Kahei later. And whiskey? I didn't take you for a heavy drinker."

 

"I'm not, but the thing has been catching dust ever since my dad gave it to me for my 19th birthday, and it looks pretty expensive to just sit on a shelf." Haseul explained. They ordered and got their food pretty quickly, Haseul linking her arm with Jinsol's as the taller girl thanked the vendor. Jinsol felt her heartbeat quicken, and thanked the cold for making her wear almost four layers of clothes that prevented Haseul from maybe noticing.

 

As Haseul leaded them towards her apartment, Jinsol tried to resume the conversation they had started at the library.

 

"So..." Haseul peared up at her like a tiny puppy, and Jinsol had to purse her lips together to stop an  _aw_ from coming out of her mouth. "Boyfriends?"

 

"Oh,  _that_." Haseul laughed awkwardly. "There's not much to tell, to be honest. Two boyfriends, one of them better than the other, but nothing really significant. And I've went on some pretty terrible dates."

 

"Nothing at the moment? No one?" Jinsol felt her heart pounding harder and harder, up to the point where she could practically hear her pulse on her ear.

 

"Nah, not really looking for it either. I rather focus on studying and my friends for now, you know? I'm pretty satisfied with how things are."

 

Jinsol frowned. "But you shouldn't just settle with being satisfied. You should be happy."

 

"And who says a boyfriend is gonna make me happy?" Haseul shrugged, and Jinsol almost choked on air from how fast and deeply she had inhaled. "I feel happy when I call my sister to check up on her and we end up annoying each other, I feel happy when Jungeun tries to convince me to listen to more Rock, I feel happy when Vivi and I cook together, and I feel happy when you do silly things just to cheer me up when I'm on a sour mood." the girl nudges her Jinsol's side with her elbow, unaware of the gay panic she had sent Jinsol into. "I have everything I need to be happy, so I don't want a boyfriend. For now, at least."

 

Jinsol's heart was basically doing somersaults at this point, caught off guard by Haseul's speech.  _She doesn't want a boyfriend_ she thought, hope blooming in her chest like a flower in spring. Hope that also came along with an even greater than before sense of fear, fear of heartbreak, of disappointment, fear of  _regret_.

 

Swallowing thickly, Jinsol had the other question she had been wanting to ask. "Your two boyfriends, did you love them?"

 

Haseul seemed to be thinking hard over the question, making Jinsol feel more and more anxious the longer she stayed silent. "I don't know. I used to think I did, but when our relationships ended I realized that I never  _really_ loved them, you know?" she paused, drawing Jinsol's attention to her face, which had turned serious and gloom "I don't think I've ever been in love."

 

Later that night, after they had played twenty questions while eating and drinking, Jinsol lied wide awake next to Haseul on her queen sized bed, her mind refusing to shut down and rest.

 

("I'm too drunk to do the dishes now." Haseul slurred. Jinsol wasn't surprised the slightest bit when Haseul had proved to be a lightweight, already getting tipsy after her second glass of the beverage. She pouted at Jinsol.

 

"Go to sleep, then. I'll bring you a glass of water to clear your head a bit so you don't have as much of a killer hangover tomorrow, and then I'll do the dishes." Jinsol said, smiling at Haseul while she gently brushed her hair with her fingers -yes, it was as soft as it looked-, the younger girl seeming to enjoy the contact.

 

" _Nooooooo_ , come sleep with me." Haseul whined, suddenly hugging her. Jinsol tensed up, knowing she shouldn't, she  _mustn't,_ and trying to hide her awkwardness -not that girl would ever take notice of it in the first place-, Jinsol forced out a chuckle.

 

"You're drunk Haseul, and I can sleep on the couch just fine."

 

"So? We are friends, I trust you enough to share a bed with you. And I don't want you to sleep on the couch, there's more than enough space in my bed for the both of us." For someone who was already asleep and slurring, Haseul was awfully convincing.)

 

Haseul's quiet snores were the only sound in the room, besides the busy traffic from outside. Jinsol shut her eyes tightly, her eyebrows coming together in a frown, and her forehead scrunching up. She tried to ignore the warm body beside her, wishing nothing more than to not feel so drawn to it, so pulled by its proximity. Keeping her clammy hands tightly clasped over her stomach, Jinsol's body tensed up as Haseul turned, draping an arm around Jinsol's waist, and pressing her nose to Jinsol's neck.

 

She couldn't take it anymore. Jinsol had no idea when she had lost control over the situation, but suddenly everything around her, plaguing her mind, was Haseul. Haseul's smell, Haseul's warmth, Haseul's breath, Haseul's touch, Haseul's smile, Haseul's gentleness, Haseul's kindness, Haseul's goofiness, Haseul's intelligence,  _Haseul._ It was too much, and Jinsol wouldn't deal with it anymore, she  _couldn't_. Not after what had happened with Dabin. She couldn't afford to go through that again, suffer the heartbreak that had almost destroyed her.

 

She knew what she needed to do.

 

She had to get over Haseul.

 

* * *

 

The following night, Jungeun had been joined by Jiwoo and Sooyoung at the bar she usually frequented with Jinsol, so when she stepped through the door, Jinsol wasn't surprised when the younger girl immediately took notice of her, already extremely familiar with her presence. Jinsol watched as Jungeun's face went from her usual playful, smug expression, to a more concerned and alarmed one. Reaching her friends, the first thing Jinsol did was grabbing the nearest shot, and downing, not caring who it was for.

 

"Hey! I was about to-" Sooyoung's protest were cut by Jinsol slamming the glass as hard as she could without breaking it. She drew the attention of a few other customers, as well as Seungyeon's, who was looking at her worriedly from behind the counter. Jinsol being anything remotely close to angry was a rare sight, after all.

 

Her eyes never leaving the glass she had just put down, Jinsol regarded Jungeun with a deep, booming voice.

 

"I need you to hook me up with someone."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for the ones reading the hp au, i'll try to focus on the next chapter for that one, and then i'll finish this one. i might make this a series, focusing on different ships, and maybe even give jinseul a spin off, but i haven't really decided yet, and i'd very much like to finish the hp au, but i'd also like to know what you all think! hmu on twitter (@yyxyeeun) or my cc https://curiouscat.me/sornlisa or if you want to leave a comment that's good too


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